Sarah Palin
Despite being a woman, Mrs. Todd Palin is a maverickess and great in 18 million ways. Some say Sarah's the greatest Governor since George W. Bush guided Texas. She has fought on the front lines of the bear wars and refused to give polar bears a free ride in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. Faith in Our Lord And Savior Mrs. Todd Palin is a firm believer in America's Science. She also believes the government has the right to tell her what she should do with her filthy, filthy intelligently designed body. As a result, she has had four five babies, each a reflection of God's Love. "Her" Fifth Child Recently she had another of God's blessings thanks to the miracle of the missionary position. This may in fact be the third immaculate conception (after Mary's and Keisha Castle-Hughes') since Mrs. Todd Palin's wife was not showing the distended proof of God's Love for the first seven months of her pregnancy and hid the child's birth for 6 weeks after it's virgin birth! Despite all the complication so of hiding her daughter's her fifth pregnancy, she showed her true Christian love, by giving birth despite knowing the child was going to be retarded. Life and Career Sarah Palin grew up in the Valley. After bringing down big-porn, she moved to Alaska and pumped out 5 babies. Between giving birth, holy missionary position impregnation, and visiting the nannies, she helped divert money from "endangered species" to fund Alaska's Republican war on the bearorists. She also sold the state jet to raise money for the Republicans and keep Al Gore from visiting. Preparing For The Presidency Vice Presidency Mrs. Todd Palin has kept her place within the boundaries of America (Alaska is apparently a state). But, now that she has been selected to replace Mccain when he dies in office be vice president, Mrs. Todd Palin has applied for a Canadian drivers' license in order to make the GOP convention in Minneapolis. VP Endorsements * Arnold Schwarzenegger approves of Sarah's Thatchers. Trivia * She was voted the sexiest, hottest mother and governor in America by Diebold voting machines. * Ted Stevens endorsed her for Governor in 2006. * Hobbies include: killing bears, feeding old people, and feeding the dead bears to old people. * She's a member of the NRA and likes to hunt and fish. * Gives off a naughty librarian vibe. * Hates books. * Supports maximum tube usage. * Is under investigation for abuse of power. * not one to waste time doing God's work, Mrs. Todd Palin was able to miraculously reduce seven months of the miracle of birth overnight! ** she also humbly waited six weeks before announcing the blessed birth! See Also * Alaska * Arctic National Wildlife Refuge * neocon * John McCain * abortion * intelligent design News Tubes *Palin views on oil, polar bears may be liabilities *Scientists oppose her desire to open ANWR to gas drilling *Palin Not Convinced on Global Warming *McCain's Vice President Under Investigation for Abuse of Power